Top 10 automated out of office responses

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It’s just so irritating when your boss or people from work contact you during your holidays, weekends or trips. I believe such colleagues should get a real dose of automated office email response. Check out the below listed out of office responses, you can comment yours if you think it is more awesome. 

 
1) I’m out of the office and returning tomorrow, at which time I will promptly delete all of your emails.

2) I am currently out of the office. If you can guess my cell phone number, then I will take your call.
 
3) I’m out of the office. If you have immediate questions or concerns, please contact my manager [insert name here]. If your questions or concerns are not immediate, you might want to ask yourself why you emailed me.

4) I will be away from work for one week while training. When I return, don’t expect any improvement.

5) I am currently out of the office and probably out-of-my-mind drunk. Enjoy your work week.

6) I am currently in the bathroom dropping a deuce. If this is an urgent matter, it only takes me about 2-3 minutes to take a dump, wipe my butt, properly wash my hands of fecal matter, and return to my desk. Feel free to stop by my desk later and give me a high five!

7) (For men only) I am currently out of the office on maternity leave.

8) I’m not really out of the office. I’m just ignoring you.

9) You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

10) Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

11)The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.’

12)I’ve run away to join a different circus.

13) I will be out of the office from mm/dd/yyyy to mm/dd/yyyy without access to email. If this is an emergency, please call 911.

Do comment and let us know what's your out of office response?
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